Brenda by Ellis Lee

Author:Ellis, Lee [Ellis, Lee]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2014-05-17T04:00:00+00:00

“How was lunch with Ms. Fontaine, sir?” Reginald asked as Jacob entered his apartment.

“It was weird. Well, and Mexican. But mostly, it was weird.”

‘Really sir? How so?”

“Well, she came out to me today.”

“Ms. Fontaine is a lesbian,” Reginald said, licking his lips, a smirk slowly creeping across his face until it became a wide grin. “Nice.”

“No, Reginald, you old creep. I mean she told me that she likes me.”

“What is she? Stupid?”

“Hey fuck you, Reginald. I’m a likeable guy.”

“No, you aren’t, sir.”

“No, I’m not. I had the same thought, actually.” Jacob walked to the fridge, opened the door, and poured himself a glass of seltzer water before heading into the other room and sitting down in front of the television.

“So, sir?” Reginald said.

“So what, Reginald?”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

Jacob shrugged. “I guess I’ll avoid her for a while. I mean, it seems like it would be a little awkward, talking to her now. After a few weeks, this should all blow over, and we’ll be back to normal.”

“So your plan is to do nothing, sir?”

“Why do I have to do anything? It’s not my problem. I’m not the one who has a crush on someone. Well, I mean I do, but it’s not Lucy.”

“I wasn’t thinking of it as a problem, sir.”

“What do you mean, Reginald? Are you stupid? Of course it’s a problem. A friend of mine, who also happens to own the company I work for, has feelings for me. Do you know the potential this has to complicate shit? Of course it’s a problem, you moron. Are you stupid? Did you drink a big glass of stupid juice this morning? Did you sleep in a stupid bed with a stupid whore and catch her stupid diseases, you stupid fucking stupid?”

Reginald rolled his eyes. “No, sir, not a stupid whore. Anyway, what I was insinuating, sir, is that this may be an opportunity worth considering.”

“What do you mean an opportunity, Reginald? Are you implying that I should use this to get closer to Lucy, then get a sex-change operation, kill her, assume her identity, and take over her father’s company?”

“No, sir.”

“Good, because I’m kind of attached to my wing-a-ling ding dong. I’m not going to cut it off just to gain control of some girl’s company. What the hell is wrong with you, Reginald?”

“I wasn’t suggest any such course of action, sir.”

“Now, if the plan were to involve only a wig,” Jacob said, scratching his chin in the deepest thought he’d been in in some time. “Reginald, you may actually be on to something. Alright, you get the wig and the dresses, I’ll shave my legs. Haha, now we’re cooking with castor oil, you old rat.”

“Sir, have a seat, please,” Reginald said with a deep sigh.

“Oh, shit. Not this again. Last time somebody said those words, I ended up on national TV and the sex offender’s registry. Damn you, how’d you trick me into your house of deceit again, you rat bastard.”

“Sir, you’re in your own house.

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